Today is the Anniversary of My Death…
Today is the anniversary of my death and rebirth. In 2015, a mere 2 years ago, at 9:48 AM, my physical body went into cardiac arrest and I died. It still feels surreal.
I had not been feeling well for months and my physician adamantly stated that it was stress. “Slow down Julie. Start taking care of yourself.” The feelings of fatigue and exhaustion were overwhelming. I was working in a field that I love as well as working on my Ph.D. but I was struggling with the gut wrenching news that my father was terminally ill. My life felt overwhelming. My hair had started to fall out and my complexion looked awful. Perhaps the doctors were right. I needed to slow down.
On a seemingly normal Saturday morning, my urine turned brown. I had a paper that was due on Monday and I continued writing. I completely ignored my physical symptoms. At the time I was unaware that I had non-symptomatic gall bladder disease. Gall stones had lodged in a liver bile duct and bile (sludge) had coated my liver so thickly that I was in liver failure. My body was dumping bile into the kidneys but there was so much, it had entered my bloodstream and was affecting me physiologically and neurologically. I was completely unaware that I was dying.
Later that afternoon, I noticed that my eyes were not white but yellow. I told myself that I would go to the doctor on Monday. It was Mother’s Day weekend and I did not want to bother anyone especially since it was just stress. I tried to finish my paper but I was beyond tired and I couldn’t concentrate. Some may call it a moment of clarity while others call it Devine intervention. I didn’t know I was sick and yet somehow I Googled the phrase, “Gallbladder + brown urine.” The first words that appeared were, “Life Threatening Condition.” I went to the hospital.
Everything from that point was a blur. I remember being told that I was in critical condition and that I needed to be transported to a Level 1 Trauma Hospital. I argued with the doctor! “It’s just stress!” I signed the paperwork and was transported to a hospital in Peoria, Illinois.
I was scheduled for 2 surgeries: one would take place on Monday and the second on Tuesday. On Tuesday morning, a phlebotomist took a blood sample. She was back in an hour to take a second. Within 10 minutes, my hospital room was flooded with medical personnel. The infection in the gallbladder has seeped into my bloodstream. I had developed sepsis. My liver and kidneys were not working and another organ began to be taxed. My heart was under tremendous stress.
I remember being told that I was going to be transported for surgery now. The room started to spin. I knew that the floor was the floor and the ceiling was the ceiling but I needed to use the restroom and I didn’t know where to put my feet. I remember medical personnel running with their hands pushing my gurney. I kept watching the ceiling tiles thinking, “This can’t be good.” I was taken immediately into the surgical room where my anesthesiologist was waiting. “Stay with me kid…” He was a kind man in his sixties with over forty years experience. “Julie, do you do yoga? Do you meditate? I need you to to focus on your breathe now. Come on kid. I’ll get you through this…”
I passed out. I few moments later, I watched from the ceiling as the surgical team frantically tried to save my life. I heard the kind man sternly state, “Her pulse is over 200 beats per minute. She’s going into cardiac arrest. You have 30 seconds to get that gallbladder removed…” I started swirling in a vortex.
Life in heaven is magical. I knew where I was and I knew I had left my sick body. There were 3 Angels that always stood around me (1 to the left, 1 to the right and 1 behind) and an Ascended Spirit that guided me on my journey. Communication in heaven is done telepathically and is extremely effective.
I never opened my mouth and yet, I had some of the most profound and intense conversations. I still to this day ask, “Why me?” Every single time I ask this question I hear my Spirit Guide, Caroline Rose, state, “Why not you Amarah?”
The experience was profound and I can’t explain everything in one blog, but I want to give you one gift of knowledge on the anniversary of my re-birth.
The vast majority of individuals who experience a NDE (near death experience) state that they went through a dark tunnel and followed a bright light. They state that this bright light is God leading you home. I was informed that this earthly perception is incorrect.
The black tunnel is the cumulative composition of every negative or irrational thought (lower frequency states) that you have generated since your initial incarnation to earth. The white light that you are drawn or pulled towards is the essence of your own being. We are turned inside out. We create our own dark tunnel and are pulled by the love of our own soul.
Our souls are powerful and since we have the ability to create the tunnel that ushers us home, what else do we have the ability to create? The answer is anything.
You were created by God for God and you are therefore an extension of perfect love. If God is perfect and you are an extension of this perfection, you cannot logically be anything but perfect. You are light as you came from light. When you remember and believe this, you access the ability to connect directly to light (Source; specific frequency) and you will find (remember) the place inside of you (soul) that is perfect. You are powerful and you are powerful beyond measure. Stop limiting your truth.
I was having an amazing conversation with Jesus (his name isn’t Jesus) when I was told it was time for me to return to body. “In a word-no. I’m not going back.” He held my hand and stated, “This isn’t the end. For the remainder of your earthly existence, we will be connected. For the remainder of your earthly existence, you will continue to be provided with information. This is just the beginning. Remember your earthly mother Amarah. She will not survive your death.”
Bam! I was back in body.
I was in the recovery room when I heard his kind voice. “Kid, I got you through it but now you need to fight. You need to fight with everything you have…fight hard.”
It took 1 year for my physical body to recover. It took 1 visit to heaven for me to become the person God intended.
Today on the anniversary of my re-birth, I want you to give me a gift. I want you to begin believing in yourself. I want you to let go of all of the bull shit you have been conditioned to believe is truth. It’s not. I want you to start seeing yourself in the same manner as the Devine. You are beautiful. You are amazing. You are powerful. You are love 💕
From my heart to yours, I send you my unconditional love ❤️
Julie Ann Lindeen